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| Updating the Myspace blog instead of this one like an idiot. I leave you with this: I used to be a poet
With a soul, a heart, poured out onto paper
I used to sing songs
About broken hearts and looking back years later
I used to feel a purpose
Talking with those who needed me just as much as I needed them
I used to be vulnerable
Believing every word that came out of the mouth of a man
But what am I now?
Cold, heartless, a bitch with no mind
Or am I just stronger?
Trained in the arts to help me survive?
I used to be a poet
But I'm not that anymore.
I don't believe in the things people want to read about
I don't believe in the songs that take away all doubt
I believe in reality and what it really is
A cold hard fuck without a little kiss
You may not believe me
You may think it's blasphemy
But sometimes the truth hurts
Sometimes it just tastes like dirt
But I'm not cynical, not by any means
I know there are good people out there with their hearts on their sleeves
I'm not knocking anymore, I'm not hating on "love"
I just know that there's more to life than being bit by that bug
So tell me something crazy, something that I won't expect
Because life is unexpected anyways, just like losing a bet
I love life for what it is, even though it's not fair
Because if I hated life, what else would be there?
You may I'm crazy, and I don't make any sense
But I'll tell you this, I honestly have no regrets. | | |
| It’s that time of year. Everyone is eating a bunch of crap, getting fatter and here in about a week we’ll all vow to lose it all as a New Year’s resolution. But that’s not what I'm talking about. Now that Christmas is here, the end of the year is fast approaching and I think to myself, what have I accomplished? I don't want to go backwards in a year....I want to be a better person each year.
This year I:
learned what true heartache is.
learned to fend for myself.
lived on my own.
bought my own computer.
saw New York City.
saw New Jersey.
learned to never forget when I forgive.
actually finished a semester of college rather than giving up and dropping out (again).
realized some slight potential in the person I am.
became more confident.
came out of my shell.
I say for one year, that's a pretty good turn out. I did things this year that I've always want to do. So why stop at this year?? The hard part is over....proving to myself that I can do it. So what's nex for me??
I'm hoping on the following in 2008:
a boyfriend...preferably one that doesn't suck at life
to see Chicago (which a plan in the works now)
to finished TWO semesters, maybe even three
to lose weight
more friends (not that I don't like the ones I have just more would be nice)
That's just briefly what I want. We'll see what 2008 has in store for me. Merry Chiristmas everyone. May the upcoming year bring you happiness and joy. | | |
| Even Heroes Know When To Be Scared. The past week has been a rollercoaster. Seriously. I don't think I've felt so many emotions in one week. I felt everything from deep sadness, to livid anger, to amazing euphoria. It's ridiculous. I don't plan on writing anything profoud for the moment. Nor do I plan on writing anything with an "update" of my life. Today, is a rainy day. I'm enjoying it for what it's worth. Have a good one. | | |
| Relationships are fine and dandy. I can appreciate them with the rest. If you love your significant other and you say, "I love you" openly, I'm down. But the people that really get me??? The ones that post things on the internet with little hearts with their cutesy little nicknames for each other. Maybe this is why I'm single. I want no part of that. If you want to put me in your "number one spot on myspace" that's great. Put your status as "in a relationship" I'm cool with that. But don't expect me to be like, "Oh baby I miss you so much shnookums." Fuck that. My "name" on myspace isn't going to be "In Love With A Boy...I LOVE YOU POOKIE". Look, you know I love you, I know you love me. I can be an individual outside of that. Don't get me wrong. I'm not against relationships by any means. But I think that including this "significant other" in every waking moment, thought, and every last trace of yourself on the internet is a little on the...well obsessive side. It gets under my skin so badly it's ridiculous. Especially when it happens to cool people I know. I look at them and I'm just like....is it neccesary to have all of these animations on your profile that portray your love of said person?? PSA: Don't fall victim of overzealous relationship. | | |
| I'd like to think that Christmas brings out the better in people. It's the season of giving!!! Donate your time to the shelters and give to the poor/needy! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! But something else comes out during this time....greed. You never realize how greedy people can get until this time of the year comes around. I mean down right disrespecting, knock out, drag out fighting over a damned toy greedy. Why is that? We all, whether we believe it or not, know the real story behind Christmas. But now, sadly, it's been Hallmarked.
In other news, hey...IT'S COLD. I'm freezing here. It's ridiculous. And wtf was this snowing business on Thanksgiving and on Sunday?
I've been doing alot of thinking about my future lately, and I finally....FINALLY think that I'm on the right track. I've decided how I want to approach my degree and how I want to overall approach life. I'm actually quite relieved on this whole thing.
It's bed time, but I leave you with a beautiful holiday song to bring cheer.
I promise to post more later today/tomorrow :D
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